no more social media

all millennial artists are stupid fucking bullshitters.
ESPECIALLY the ones with a degrees.

coachella is fucking stupid

coachella is fucking stupid

love

I'm afraid of finding someone.
who I could never want to leave,
who would seemingly change their mind.
especially when they won't feel the same way
especially when nothing gets answered when I pray

I want to dream
of finding my true love.
who becomes my best friend
where we gift ourselves to walk
through life together
and experience gods gift
to never be alone

I want to look up
When I see you in the stars
when I feel pain
It's the reason I want to get up.
I want to be alive.

I only want one person
I can give my all to
I want to live in a fantasy in my words
because real life ain't what its ought to be.

help

When life comes crashing
down from the sky,
first, I have to check my phone.
pick up whats left of the rubble.
whats left of my soul.
pick up my words,
that don't even matter
death is a door
everyone walks out of

we only have so much time
in this world together

i don’t understand why
anyone
who’s ever loved me
wouldn’t hold on to me?

love

Lately,

all of me

has felt lost

or

unconnected

I could smell the good memory,

something smarter like an android can't comprehend tty

I look for you but do you look for me?

on waiting for love

i know deep down inside i want to be better. When I go deep down inside it is dark and foggy. I want to stay up high for something I was taught to make me happy, but in reality I know it is only a dream. I soon realized i was programmed only to be complete with a family and a best friend who is my wife. While no body is really even truly happy with themselves, so they find love in other places and end up in other peoples beds. Deep down inside I just lay down and bury my own grave... because we were born alone and ultimately die alone. sometimes i wonder if being dead only lasts a couple minutes like an orgasm. sometimes i wonder if it will ever go back to two people needing each other for the sake of making the dream come true. and then the rest of the time i am awake, regretting why i even opened my eyes again. i heard my friend tell me that he is waiting on gods time. it made me reassure myself that I should know what day it is.

rant

i sometimes still find myself talking like you
inside jokes and little quotes
if i said i wasn't sad it wouldn't hold true
if i said i wasn't happy its what i moved on to
i wrote these feelings in cryptic woes
not even knowing where my finger on the keyboard go
these are just thoughts these are just spells
inprisoned but free from my mind i call a cell