day 4

embarrassed of my bad habits,
yet even more so proud of what
had accomplished aside minor short comings.
Once you've quit, you begin to feel the pain,
scared of the stigma; saying reminding words "you've said that before."
Who are you trying to adore? Oh, the crave for addiction
is longing for more, for what will my body give me today,
take another chance take another step into death
I do not feel invincible now clouded mind memories forgotten how
what did I do just a moment ago, little things bother me I think I think
too much. My body needs rest and people take it the wrong way, my eyes
think its morning but im just mourning. Is this what it takes to go back to normal?
Life is boring without smoking, at least you have something to do; time by time
subtracting time, harming the unharmful global economical anti healthnut vegetarian smoker
the smell of my hands reak I chased my lover away with my breath, I hate myself so I do it to myself
excuse myself but I am only stressed out I am sick so I smoke more so I wont I just want one lousy hit
I will wake you up for one what have I become?... no. no. I don't wan't to, no... these are just words
I've said that before, and I broke my promise even more times I can't even remember. Just because
4 days ago I havn't touched a smoke doesn't mean I would do it again. my throat is dry. why? I hope
it will heal. I am lost in emotion. who can understand me? oh... a smoker. i forgot. leave me alone,
I gotta go the other way. I'm angry and hungry gotta hide it the first thing I notice i'll bite it. Like my tounge dizzy
we only got one/ chance so fight and take it. I look up to my ambition and it can be applied to anything, not just art.
I remember telling myself my body is an artform, a temple. one day I want to have kids now. I need to stop my bad habits now.
My dad once said "if you can't stop smoking you're weak minded" I get embarrassed everytime I smoke.
You can't stop a drug addict. The drug addict can only stop himself. Now that I'm older I worry about my health
and when we are young we like to dance with death.

favorite blogger

http://www.myspace.com/dirtydanny1/blog

opprotunity

Friday we meet again. Letting the sun kiss my skin
Working hard on improving within
Until it gets dark I gotta go
and hit the road and hurry home
if you want you can text me on the phone
belonging felt good but now im in my zone
lights camera action im ready for the show
keeping my mind patient and kind
they can talk but im ready to walk
alone when we die but I know we are all aiming at the sky
stay high no time to wonder why
its kinda funny when they want you to fall
all i know is make myself better
even if they put me against the wall
positive in any weather and whether
rain or shine I fight for the light see it in my eyes
another time another rhyme no stopping anytime
dedicated to having fun and being hard
fighting for every opprotunity to make whats mine
being me is the greatest reward
because at the end of the day I didn't fail I tried
adapting to a new age at my pace
mr nonstop mr nevergivingup if you see me around
saying whats up times a wasting another town in the time
we share the space the air what it is or what it could be

If I could remember everything that made me who I am today.
I can just look back with a smile thinking someday
nothing will be forsaken and all that wasted energy worrying
was just another path in the rat race we all must find out for ourselves
our lives are all tall tales and masks we read as we walk into this pool
of society while I be me sometimes I just watch and let things be.

Everytime

Whenever I drive and I see a mountain I always think of you. Knowing you are just one obstacle away from the grass that's greener on the other side. Thankful that I'm alive to feel something meaningful like a good dream. Sometimes I go on top of this mountain to see the city more vibrant than the sky where I live, missing the way you make me think, missing the way you make me feel. Everytime now, I can honestly see how far I went without even noticing the stars. Another day when I can't chase the moon, I run for the hills. Patiently pacing through life I stare up as the days set, a purple hue and orange depth casts the horizon. Everytime I think of you I believe I am with you. And I write this because I believe in my faith that one day you will come back. Like a morning kiss, in the nights I sleep alone or when I come home my feelings are left in my room, dangling wrinkly, unironed. They are left there so I won't worry. Everything is fine, because the things you want and the idea of waiting makes it more exciting.