help

When life comes crashing
down from the sky,
first, I have to check my phone.
pick up whats left of the rubble.
whats left of my soul.
pick up my words,
that don't even matter
death is a door
everyone walks out of

we only have so much time
in this world together

i don’t understand why
anyone
who’s ever loved me
wouldn’t hold on to me?

love

Lately,

all of me

has felt lost

or

unconnected

I could smell the good memory,

something smarter like an android can't comprehend tty

I look for you but do you look for me?

on waiting for love

i know deep down inside i want to be better. When I go deep down inside it is dark and foggy. I want to stay up high for something I was taught to make me happy, but in reality I know it is only a dream. I soon realized i was programmed only to be complete with a family and a best friend who is my wife. While no body is really even truly happy with themselves, so they find love in other places and end up in other peoples beds. Deep down inside I just lay down and bury my own grave... because we were born alone and ultimately die alone. sometimes i wonder if being dead only lasts a couple minutes like an orgasm. sometimes i wonder if it will ever go back to two people needing each other for the sake of making the dream come true. and then the rest of the time i am awake, regretting why i even opened my eyes again. i heard my friend tell me that he is waiting on gods time. it made me reassure myself that I should know what day it is.

rant

i sometimes still find myself talking like you
inside jokes and little quotes
if i said i wasn't sad it wouldn't hold true
if i said i wasn't happy its what i moved on to
i wrote these feelings in cryptic woes
not even knowing where my finger on the keyboard go
these are just thoughts these are just spells
inprisoned but free from my mind i call a cell