love

Lately,

all of me

has felt lost

or

unconnected

I could smell the good memory,

something smarter like an android can't comprehend tty

I look for you but do you look for me?

on waiting for love

i know deep down inside i want to be better. When I go deep down inside it is dark and foggy. I want to stay up high for something I was taught to make me happy, but in reality I know it is only a dream. I soon realized i was programmed only to be complete with a family and a best friend who is my wife. While no body is really even truly happy with themselves, so they find love in other places and end up in other peoples beds. Deep down inside I just lay down and bury my own grave... because we were born alone and ultimately die alone. sometimes i wonder if being dead only lasts a couple minutes like an orgasm. sometimes i wonder if it will ever go back to two people needing each other for the sake of making the dream come true. and then the rest of the time i am awake, regretting why i even opened my eyes again. i heard my friend tell me that he is waiting on gods time. it made me reassure myself that I should know what day it is.

rant

i sometimes still find myself talking like you
inside jokes and little quotes
if i said i wasn't sad it wouldn't hold true
if i said i wasn't happy its what i moved on to
i wrote these feelings in cryptic woes
not even knowing where my finger on the keyboard go
these are just thoughts these are just spells
inprisoned but free from my mind i call a cell

you win

for a long time

i couldn't realize

that love is not earned.

a long time

makes or breaks you.

and what I had to offer

was all I had left.

even at my best,

was still not enough.

and all this time

for the good and the bad

i will still hold to

the history

of what little

i could still hold on to

it made a lifetime

of happiness

even though I tried so hard

I could finally accept the fact

it was not meant to be.

Im just so sorry

that I couldn't be

the one for you

thoughts on being nice

A woman asked "Why are you so nice to me?"

Because I know how it feels to be Fucked,

maybe I know what its like out there and just a simple smile could make a difference,

or that its not in my nature to cause ill intentions, I try...

and sometimes I wish God would help me find the right person to be nice to,

because obviously its so rare these days people gotta question,



why are people so nice? is it because parents don't have time to teach their children?

Its just the way that I am. Please don't take me for granted.

And sometimes, when you're nice, you think that everyone else is that way too.

and sometimes people take my kindness for weakness,

but, Im ready.

Bring it.

text messages

I like it when someone texts me all quick.
Like in the television shows
when they have random text conversations
and the friend texts all super quick

A lot to me

"So why did you stop drawing?"

"I got really sad."