time

I am grateful that I have the time to evaluate myself.
I am healing and the ball is rolling collecting days of sobriety.
All small victories.
I am hurting right now, but pain is just a reminder I am in the right path.
Like fire testing the quality of gold. Temperament adversity tests a strong willed person.

I am grateful to go through this pain and suffering, because if I conquer this I will be stronger spiritually.
And that is something great to look forward to.
I keep telling myself it will be better and more meaningful on the other side. Time will test truth.

the meaning of "I don't care"

I drove to the end of time,
And found nothing there,
during the middle of
a circling conversation,
I ended it with "I don't care."

they say words are vibrations,
I feel your energy in the air,
merely spells, they only work
if you believe or are aware

the language in the tounge,
the eloquence of truth,
the time it took
the meaning from heart.
the silent listener.
the mind let absorbing
the things left unseen

the meaning told differently

do misunderstandings happen for a reason?
is this thought thicker than blood?
I need more time to answer
I need more time to think

does love only have one perfect shot?
Can a man not be a creep for once.
Can I know what's going on your mind?
without even telling you.

does the word sorry mean it is my fault?
do I have the wrong bullets for this gun...
argues through talking at another
ego blinds the perception

the bubble bursts, the ripple in water moves
the painting dries and is abandoned.

twenty nine teen

the most productive year in a long time. it is officially snowballing

no more social media

all millennial artists are stupid fucking bullshitters.
ESPECIALLY the ones with a degrees.

coachella is fucking stupid

coachella is fucking stupid

love

I'm afraid of finding someone.
who I could never want to leave,
who would seemingly change their mind.
especially when they won't feel the same way
especially when nothing gets answered when I pray

I want to dream
of finding my true love.
who becomes my best friend
where we gift ourselves to walk
through life together
and experience gods gift
to never be alone

I want to look up
When I see you in the stars
when I feel pain
It's the reason I want to get up.
I want to be alive.

I only want one person
I can give my all to
I want to live in a fantasy in my words
because real life ain't what its ought to be.

help

When life comes crashing
down from the sky,
first, I have to check my phone.
pick up whats left of the rubble.
whats left of my soul.
pick up my words,
that don't even matter
death is a door
everyone walks out of

we only have so much time
in this world together

i don’t understand why
anyone
who’s ever loved me
wouldn’t hold on to me?