running away

Running away from chance
A fog of love
Was from When
it meant something
We do
anything
except give up
my love
poor love
gave up on me.

11/29/11-11.30.11

Lost things, in a clean room.
In return, forgotten memories reappear before my eyes.
Overwhelmed by. Thoughts, or the cling of coffee.
Good times.
Simplicity. to be glad to have a bed!!!
everytime I need to come back to you.
Away from a scary reality. Outside they scream the first amendment,
but reminding myself the third.
I can't say thanks. Because we do not understand each other.
Polar opposites, inbetween stands
"I". and "don't"; and "no".
Forgotten to be written in books,
or on the internet,
by people who were born before I,
let them live in my insipiration, 
by living the moment and sharing the air .
Divination like love it bewares
a fire. Flame. Energy, in the game is not lost or transformed by definition,
somewhere else it has been gained,
plane jane, playin along the words,
freedom flying birds the prey is
inside a bigger brain,
until fate recognizes balance. I can't say thanks

sunny everyday in california

inside my mind, a universe infinite unable to be defined, because
of the everchanging kind. we call ourselves individuals,
in the residual habitual ego, we face in the wilderness country
I have been born into. let who do that to go where I go
through who no clue but to find out to know
where others have been through, outside sick its cold coughing
people with flu whatchugonna do when they beat you.
opposites attract because they are the same too. words are
powerful when you use them to assist you.

Sometimes

I like to be home alone with my kitty, eating a carrot,
take a bite and dip it in a jaccuzzi glass chilling in crushed ice and carrot juice
along with hummus and ritz crackers. it feels good,
it feels like love, time right now feels like a perfectly fit glove,
the weekend is ahead and I lay here on the couch not on my bed.
he looks out the window for me like a television, silence is what we listen,
please kikikitty tell me what I have missed in the outside world.
he lays there above me saying nothing... watching... eyes closed I've missed nothing at all :)

Lately I have been sleeping very late and waking up in the afternoon. This is something I do not want to do. I still exercize daily and I am learning how to stretch my legs by touching my toes.

Things I don't have right now

Give me a pen so they will listen.
Give me a time so we can create.
Give me a smile so I can feel young.
Give me a job so I can eat.
Give me a chance so I can do.
Give me a glance so I can exist.
Give me a mistake so I can feel.
Give me a cigarette so I can die.

I lost my friend along the way

Times like these, I shouldn't dwell,
on something that was meant to be
a living hell, a tall tale, claustrophobic
in my room, in my mind.
I am frozen on the other side with
my loved ones screaming, I cant talk back.
I am getting older I cant turn back
I know what to do but I'm just sitting here
with wrinkled clothes all over the floor
somebody slap me in the face before there
is no more, no more... anymore time in this race?
He let himself have it
It was not meant for me, and I put myself down
like everybody else in history
I am my own worst enemy. blah blah blah ha ha ha
I lost a friend, my bestfriend someone I truly loved
and I am tired of losing it by giving up
cant see me this way but you can read it
I am sad I am sad and I dont care